


It Hurts Until It Doesn't

by CrazyAngel



Series: Right Back Where We Started (Again) [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Drama, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26156929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyAngel/pseuds/CrazyAngel
Summary: "Y'know boy — the Devil ain't gonna want you either, so looks like you're going back."That's what God said when Klaus died and went to Heaven.But Klaus never put much thought into it until he died(again) and instead of God, he got face to face with the Devil himself. And the Devil had a favor to repay.Or...What if Klaus died while trying to help Vanya save Harlan and instead of Heaven, he went somewhere else ?
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Right Back Where We Started (Again) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866679
Comments: 3
Kudos: 130





	It Hurts Until It Doesn't

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I watched the new season of Lucifer and re-read TUA comics after finishing S2, and my little weird mind went 'well let's make something out of this!' — but I also really needed an excuse to give Ben and Klaus some closure because that 'it wasn't you that made him stay's and how their relationship turned toxic at the end of things just wasn't cutting it for me.  
> Now I'll stop rambling.

_I felt alive for a little while_  
_But when i died i had the time to notice_  
_I was crushed by the weight of my own ego_  
_But never honest enough to say it_

_I felt your love for a little while_  
_But never had the guts to give myself up_  
_I said that i could be just what you wanted_  
_As if i could ever keep a promise_  
_As if i could ever keep a promise_

_You have eyes in every room_  
_But you won't see me_  
_You won't see me_  
_You won't see me walk away_  
_Once i was more than just a song to play_  
_On your haunted tape_  
_I don't want to be away_

_Could have sworn i heard you laughing in the doorway_

_I don't like myself when i'm awake_

**(It Hurts Until It Doesn't — Mother's)**

* * *

Klaus felt like he was floating. Like he had taken something, his head seemed filled with cotton, and somehow he knew he smelled of alcohol and nicotine, but he didn't care. Looking around, he had no idea how he ended up at that bar; the place filled with smoke from cigarettes, the black counter sticky and marked with circles from countless cups and drinks being served there through the years, an enormous and shiny shelf filled with colorful bottles behind it, people spread around in couches and sitting at tables talking, a grand piano sitting in front a colorful stained glass of what seemed like wings, but the place itself told him nothing, even though Klaus prided himself into knowing all the good places for a good hit. He couldn't even get the name of the place, his mind too foggy and the neon on the other side of the front door too bright.

Laughing, he concluded he had been bar hopping until he ended up at that place. Getting drunk was all he did these days. It looked fancy, he had to admit, all down to the velvet curtains and black furniture and colorful lights. Well, he and a bunch of other people.

Women with tight dresses, men looking around with their bruised faces, young people with blood splattered on their clothes and lost eyes. The mix of people was certainly very odd, but Klaus was too high to question. So he asked for another shot of vodka from the pretty lady bartender, who gave him a sad smile as she served his drink.

He was bothered for not being able to remember how he got in such a place. Maybe it was the anger and abandonment that were making him all loopy, and that he didn't actually take any drugs. So he tried to concentrate for a few seconds — Klaus knew he was probably at least drunk, but not enough to forget things like this.

The sound of the door opening pushed him away from those thoughts.

A tall asian young man entered the bar, looking around curiously. Walking in like he owned the place, without paying mind to the people around him, he took a seat only at a short distance from Klaus and asked for some whisky.

_Ben._

Klaus fingers tightened around his cup. The simple image of Ben made him angry, and internally he asked himself how his brother had the audacity to remain so calm and collected after what happened — how dare he not even say goodbye? While he watched his brother in his stupid hoodie( _stupid enough that Klaus kept it in his wardrobe back at the Academy)_ , Klaus needed all the self control he had left to not simply get up and punch the calm out of Ben. As he looked away, his eyes crossed with the handsome blond man who had taken the place of the lady bartender, a glimpse of mischief in his eyes, almost as if he knew something Klaus didn't. In fact, that man looked like someone watching a play already knowing it's ending, only waiting for the audience's reaction.

But Klaus could care less about that, he was focused on Ben right now.

Ben didn't even say goodbye to him, and he didn't even warn him that he would leave. It was all for a greater good, and that was nice, but he waited till he was gone for good to tell the truth — he let Klaus swallow in guilt for seventeen years, thinking that Ben was stuck with him forever and that watching Klaus ruin his own life was his own personal hell. But no, all it was because he was goddamn afraid to go to the light. Was Klaus that unimportant to him? To the point he couldn't even be trusted with the truth?

And then there was the whole forced possession thing which was completely fucked up on its own. God, it made Klaus want to punch him so bad, because Ben knew he had a weird relationship with consent and having his body violated like that _it hurt like a bitch_. It had been nice he was able to talk to the girl he liked and even a brief moment with Diego, but other than that it was awful and all Klaus could do was watch as Ben did as he pleased with his body. 

That's not to say they both weren't assholes, they were. At some point, Klaus noticed, they stopped seeing each other as people. There were things Klaus regretted deeply, like not manifesting Ben to talk to their siblings or simply mentioning that he was there with them all the time and that he missed them. Yet Klaus wanted nothing more than to smack that look from Ben's face. Death did wonders for one's personality, and their relationship turned more and more explosive over the years, but the fights always ended up always with apologies and trying to compensate for the insults thrown, so much that the heated discussions were almost like a hobby.

But not this time.

This time their relationship had become so sour that Ben walked through the door of afterlife without so much of an _au revoir._ It hurt, and now he and Ben ended up in this place, in what Klaus supposed was some fucked up dream conjured up by his mind to torture him. Making a mental toast to God, Klaus swallowed one more shot, then got up to leave.

He was close to the door when he felt a hand around his arm, and he didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.

"Hey Klaus." Ben called, his voice calm almost as if he was dealing with an angry dog. Even in a dream, his touch felt _so real_ , but with a swift movement Klaus freed his arm. He closed his coat and continued on his way to the door, almost reaching the stairs before Ben forced him to turn around and face him. "We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

Ben sighed, all his self control focused on not giving Klaus the snarky remark he deserved. He didn't want to scream or fight with Klaus anymore. He wanted, desperately, to solve this situation and say what he had to say — and he knew he was pushing his limits with Klaus after Dallas, but he hoped they could figure this out in peace.

"It's not fair for you to talk to me like that, Klaus."

" _Fair?_ You really wanna talk about _fairness?"_ Klaus barked. "Were you _fair_ when you left me? Were you _fair_ when you made me feel guilty for years, thinking I was the one keeping you around? Were you _fair_ when you tried to take my body from me even though I told you that it hurt? Were you ever fair, Ben? We spent _years_ together! Literal years and yet it never crossed that pretty little head of yours to tell me these things? I'm sorry that I'm alive and you're not, but did that make me mean so little to you? Because the last few days we spent together truly made me question things about you."

At some moment Klaus had started ranting but Ben didn't stop him. All those things he did at their last days in Dallas, they weren't his brightest moments, but he was tired and frustrated and not thinking straight. Now, he didn't have strength to fight Klaus anymore, and knew he deserved whatever Klaus had coming for him.

He didn't regret saving Vanya, not at all — hell, he would never regret that. But he now knew how much it hurt Klaus to just disappear and hide the truth for so long, only for it to be revealed through their sister; it was visible by the way Klaus hands were shaking and how he was refusing to look Ben in the eyes that he was angry and hurting. 

And that was only a little part of it, as Ben had reflected on his actions towards possessing Klaus body. Ben himself couldn't feel it, but it hurt Klaus not only psychologically but physically to the point where he had to throw up to get Ben out of his body. And looking back at it, it was completely fucked up and Ben was still trying to figure out what had gotten into him to abuse Klaus like that — years of anger, frustration, hurt. Not that it justified his actions, but he was overwhelmed with his emotions and the discovery of Klaus new ability. Still going that far, especially knowing Klaus issues with consent, and violating his body like that more than once was a major fuck up.

Klaus was definitely right to be mad.

The crowd of clients turned to watch their heated discussion, and the blond man at the bar, with an amused smile, approached them with his hands up, a gesture signaling peace.

"Boys, I know you two have things to solve and figure out, and I agree this might not be the right environment for that but...Let's keep our voices down in my club, right?"

Klaus sighed and returned to the counter, followed closely by Ben. Klaus lit up a cigarette, feeling the smoke on his tongue. He would do anything to keep from talking to Ben, even if this was just some fucked up dream. The silence between them only grew and turned almost tangible. Ben, in all his patience, didn't worry about it — Klaus needed his time and he probably wanted to scream at him until his throat ached, but he needed to control himself because they were in a public place and...Well, the owner could very well kick them out and Ben would waste his wish, never being able to see Klaus again after they walked through that front door.

"You know, Benji, looking back it was fucked up how you didn't even care about hurting me. I didn't even know you had the capacity to be selfish like that. Bossy, controlling, eccentric and even a little arrogant, yes. I was aware of that, as death did wonders for your lovely personality. But at that point of me having to fight against you over the control of _my very own body_?Congratulations, even dead you keep surprising me after all these years." Klaus said in a mild tone, like someone who comments on the weather. He knew that his words and tone of voice would probably hurt his brother much more than if he had actually cursed and raged, but he didn't even care about it anymore. He just wanted to take that weight off his chest and if it was going to hurt Ben,to hell with him. After all, Ben wasn't the only one hurt."You want to know something funny, Benny? You possessing me made me scared as hell. Not only by feeling violated _again_ but...If you could do it, who could guarantee that other ghosts couldn't? I was so fucking scared, Ben."

"I'm sorry, Klaus. I wasn't thinking straight when I did that to you."

"Oh, really?I hadn't noticed!" Klaus made an exasperated gesture with his free hand. "But still I let you do as you pleased anyway, even if it hurt, because my guilt over you being stuck with me without being able to talk to anyone was bigger than my fear. So I swallowed it down and just let you be the puppeteer so you could talk to the girl you had a crush on and even got to talk to Diego!" Klaus sighed and gave another blow to his cigarette. "But what I go in return, huh? Diego saying that you should stay around in my body as if I wasn't even there, and then receiving the message through dear Vanya that it wasn't my fault at all! You weren't stuck with me all these years, you made me feel guilty for years for literally no reason and didn't even had the balls to tell me in person before you were gone! Isn't that lovely?"

"I'm sorry, ok?" Ben answered in a strangled whisper, barely making himself heard because of the loud music. "I'm sorry for everything. I don't blame you for feeling like that and I know I should've told you, I tried to tell, more than once, believe me. But I was scared, Klaus, scared not just for me but for you!I was scared of leaving you alone because I knew how much worse you would be if you were alone all those years and I didn't want to see you _die._ I know we weren't the best brothers to each other most of the time and that we had our fights, but I cared about you, Klaus, so much. I know that our last moments together didn't seem like it, but I still care about you. And it's fine if you hate me after everything I did."

Klaus was silent, thinking about Ben's words and began to question himself. The truth is, Ben had always been an open book - at least to him - and he hated keeping secrets.

"I don't hate you, Ben, I could never. I'm just hurt. And I just want to know why." Klaus answered in a tired tone. He knew Ben like the palm of his hand and he could see his brother regretted what happened in their last days in Dallas. Even without looking at him, Klaus knew Ben was biting his lip to the point of hurting while he tried to contain his emotions.

"I thought that if I told you that I wasn't stuck to you, you would eventually figure out how to send me away. And then you would be all alone to destroy yourself."

Klaus sighed. Ben was always the nice one, ever since they were kids. And even if he had changed a lot after being a ghost for years, Klaus still could see the kindness and care underneath all the harshness — the same boy who would let Klaus sneak into his bed when his nightmares got too bad, the same one who always kept an eye on him after a particular bad training session at the mausoleum. Ben was a fantastic mix of reason and emotion, that being why he was so good at grounding Klaus even to this day. Most of the time, his reason spoke louder but at some moments, the emotions took hold of him for days and Klaus was pretty sure that was what happened in Dallas. At least he hoped so.

Suddenly, Klaus felt way too tired to continue. Putting out his cigarette in an ashtray, Klaus got up.

"Look Ben, let's just...I don't know, go home or something, ok?I don't hate you, but I don't know if I can forgive you yet. All I can tell you is that I'm tired of fighting. It seems like it's all we've been doing."

"Klaus...You can't leave yet." Ben said gently, grabbing Klaus wrist.

"What?"

"You can't leave yet, not without us finishing this business."

Klaus frowned. "Ben, I know our conversation was lovely, but you can't stop me from–"

"But I can." The blond man from before, the owner, spooked Klaus once again as he spoke. "Not without passing through me at least. Your brother here asked for a favor and I'm delivering.You know, just business."

Klaus looked at the two without understanding. Who was that man to stop him from doing anything? They didn't even know each other. And what did he mean by 'business'?

"You know, Klaus... something happened." Ben said calmly, almost as if he was explaining things to a child.

"If you wish, I can show him." The blond man offered. Ben was visibly nervous, while Klaus looked between the two with no idea about what was happening.

"Show me what?I…"

"Your brother Ben made a deal with me. He wanted to speak to you one last time, and those are a little complicated to arrange." The man sighed. "Especially when it comes to you, Klaus. You're one of a kind, not wanted by God in heaven and not wanted by me either down there, because I don't want trouble. But a meeting? That's easy."

"What do you mean ' _not wanted by me'_? If God is that little girl then you are…" Klaus felt his body freeze and he couldn't even finish his sentence at the realization of who the well-dressed man was.

"Mr.Morningstar, at your service." The man smiled, gesturing around the club. "And welcome to my club, my boy."

Klaus looked at Ben, astonished and trying to find an explanation. Ben simply nodded towards Mr.Morningstar and said: "Show him how he ended up here. It's better than explaining."

With a quick gesture, Mr. Morningstar lowered the volume of the music that filled the room, transforming the ambience into a soft whisper. Taking a remote control from under the counter, he turned on a television hanging in the corner of the bar.

Klaus saw snow and a barn. The walls were filled with bullet holes and there were even bullets on the ground, in the middle of all that hay and even in the snow. And the snow was painted with blood and there were so many corpses around on the outside of the barn, like a massacre had just happened. Then, as the camera turned down, Klaus saw another corpse laying in the hay of the barn, immobile and bleeding.

It was him. He had been shot.

"Did I...die again?" Klaus asked, touching his body all around. "I-I don't remember…"

"That tends to happen to those who had a sudden death." Mr.Morningstar explained, sighing, while taking a fancy bottle of whisky from behind the bar and serving one cup for him and other two for Klaus and Ben. "What happened to you, dear Klaus, is that you got shot during a shootout commanded by the Commission leader, while you went out with your brothers to help your sister Vanya solve a situation with her girlfriend's kid who went out of control with his powers. It was a big event, I'll tell you that much, with lots of death involved, you would hate it. I just took the opportunity to fullfil your brother's wish since you were passing by anyway."

"W-what about the others? Are my brothers okay?"

"Oh they're gonna be fine. Do you really think Five would let you guys all die again?" Mr. Morningstar laughed, picked up the remote and turned off the TV. "He's already traumatized enough about that, no way in Hell he would allow that to happen as long as he's still breathing. Right, Ben?"

"He's right." Ben shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. "Five would rather die himself than see you guys die again."

Klaus frowned at the black screen. The image of his bloodied body was certainly engraved in his mind forever now. "But I'm here...won't someone find me dead?"

"Time passes differently here so I still have time to send you back before someone notices." Mr. Morningstar looked at a watch on his wrist then smiled at Klaus, a genuine smile this time it seemed. "Don't worry Klaus, I got everything handled. Just don't waste this chance with your brother, okay? Because I don't know if I'll be able to arrange another for you guys."

Feeling his legs failing, Klaus returned to sit on the bench. His hands were shaking too much for him to drink, but he still held the glass with numb fingers. His ears were ringing and he barely noticed Ben's comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you really make a deal with the Devil just to talk to me?"

Ben snorted. "It's not a _deal_ like you see in movies, Klaus, I didn't sell my soul or anything. It's more like an exchange of favors; I do a thing on my end of the afterlife and he repays the favor on his end, simple as that."

"But then, if he's the Devil, then what place is this, Hell?" Klaus gestured around. "And who the fuck are these people?"

"As once said the old Jack The Ripper, let's go in parts, kid." Mr. Morningstar answered, gesturing for the cups. Klaus took a sip of his almost mechanically. "This place is the middle ground, you earthlings call it Purgatory. There's no angels playing arp nor golden gates, neither there's little demons poking you with tridents. All of these guys here are souls who, like our friend Ben here, still have some pending issues on earth. They cannot move on until they have resolved everything and usually these disputes involve another human being. I use this place to do my deals, because the souls from Heaven can roam freely through here and let me tell you, a lot of them like to have some fun after staying in that boring place for so long."

Klaus turned to Ben, looking at his brother from head to toe. "So Benji here did not went to Hell?"

Both Ben and Mr.Morningstar laughed. 

"For God's sake,boy, no!Your brother here is as a good guy as he can be growing up with that father of yours. He's pretty damn safe, we only accept the worst of the worst down in Hell, the ones who truly deserve to rot in torture for all eternity." Mr.Morningstar sighed. "Ben just walked in here asking the bartender for the Lightbringer and with a pentecostal coin in his hands, which is the code for a soul wanting a favor. It was clear he came from the upper floor, the guys who come from there look nothing like the usual Purgatory folk."

Klaus, bewildered, and feeling sober for the first time since he stepped into that place, stopped to notice his clothes for the first time: bullet holes under his coat, huge blood stains that went from his top to his pants. Looking sideways at Ben,he saw that his brother was the same as always,without even a mark or scar to indicate his death. In fear, Klaus began to feel himself - arms, chest, legs, shoulders.

"Rest assured, all wounds in the flesh are healed when you are sent to one of the floors of afterlife. But I thought you already knew that since you died before." Replied Mr.Morningstar, looking at him with interest.

"Ah,good to know." Klaus replied with more sarcasm than he intended. "But if you're really the devil...why aren't you in Hell? I thought you owned that place."

"Oh but I do own that place. It's just that it's more fun being around humans, your poor lost souls, than sitting around in Hell with all those horrible people screaming around in agony. And of course I have fun with the discussions or doing my deals to souls like Ben, who seemed to really need it." He shrugged. "Ou contraire of what most humans think, I'm not that evil overlord of sin. I've never even lied once in my entire existence and I pride myself on that. If I was all that bad do you really think you'd be able to have closure with your brother? I'm risking my own skin by bringing you here. Because if all of that depended on God, whom you already know, Klaus, you would've just be sent straight back to life again without room for complaints."

Klaus felt empty. Neither sad nor shocked, and perhaps it was the excess of information that covered his ability to feel, but he was grateful for that small blessing.

"But...what about the spirits that follow me around when I'm alive? All those mangled ghosts they…"

"They make you go crazy, right? Those...those are the ones who didn't cross yet, who are stuck on the land of the living by hate, and some stay there so long that they turn into twisted versions of their former selves after some time. For some souls it's harder to find their way, I guess, I never understood much about that as it's not exactly my department." Mr. Morningstar sighed. "As I said, to this club come the souls who have some pending matter. I have here wives and husbands waiting for their abusive partners, young teens waiting for their bullies, families who have something unresolved with their parents. And the ones who already crossed to God's side that come asking for a favor." Klaus watched as the blond man paused to serve another cup of whisky before drinking half of it. He then looked at his golden watch once again before continuing: "This is my last one. You know Klaus, you are an actual lucky guy, because if you were a normal kid, Ben here would have probably to wait decades alone for you to come, like many others in this place. Anyway, I'll leave you guys alone. Your time here is almost up and I have to send you back in a few minutes."

Klaus and Ben watched Mr.Morningstar go sit on a couch by the side of the grand piano in the middle of the saloon. Only when he was away that Ben decided to speak:

"I wish you didn't have to die for us to talk again, but there's nothing I could do about that. I felt so fucking selfish when I came here and asked for the chance to talk to you one last time, but I needed to apologize to you so bad that I took it. Klaus, I…" Ben's voice, which until now had been steady, broke. Klaus just listened in silence as he watched his brother rub his eyes and sigh. "You know what, I don't want you to die again. Not so soon at least, you still have so much to do down there with our brothers, so much healing and growth to do…And I know that you don't see what I see, but you can be so much more, you have so much to give that you spent years burying under drugs and booze."

"Ben…"

"I'm sorry for calling Dave your little 'Vietnam fling' by the way. He was the guy who I'm pretty sure saw in you the same thing I see. And I know you loved him a lot and how special he was to you."

Klaus chuckled. "You two always had way too much faith in me. That's one thing in common you two shared."

"Because you can be great, Klaus, you just have to see that yourself. Why do you think I got so pissed every time you almost died?"

"That's because you love meeeee!" Klaus joked in a funny voice, trying to lighten up the mood, poking Ben with his elbow, which actually made his brother laugh.

God, Klaus would miss that laugh. In all those years he spent with his dead brother around, in certain moments of clarity between his highs, Klaus would do anything to see Ben smile even a little bit — like that time he managed to save enough money to take a bus and go to the beach because Ben had been nagging for days about wanting to see the sea, or every time Klaus would sneak into theaters to watch movies and plays that Ben showed interest in, no matter how boring he found them to be, or even music shows that he knew Ben would like to accompany him(Klaus sometimes messed up in the end by getting shitfaced or high out of his mind but the intention was there). He knew how unhappy he made Ben with his lifestyle(hell he made everyone close to him unhappy with that) yet it seemed easier to just brush it all aside, hide every sigh, every sad or angry glare, every bit of guilt inside his chest, under a mask of apathy and nonchalance. It was supposed to hurt less or not hurt at all, but now he looked at Ben sitting by his side one last time and it felt like his heart was being ripped apart and stomped on, and it hurt so bad that he could feel tears in his eyes, one making its way across his cheek.

"I'm also sorry for everything, Benji." Klaus said,somberly, quickly cleaning the fallen tear with the back of his hand."For being, as you always said,arrogant,selfish and self-centered. If I knew I wouldn't have you around anymore, I wouldn't have lied to others saying that ghosts can't time travel and I would've let you talk to them.I should have been better and I'm sorry. "

Ben watched as Klaus struggled to keep his tears hidden. It had been so long since he saw Klaus cry, the last time being when he returned from Vietnam almost three years ago, but it seemed even farther in the past. Klaus was always looking for ways to numb himself and his emotions.

He sighed. He understood (more or less) how Klaus's mind worked,and he felt bad for saying all those things. Because in the end, Klaus was a good person, even with his flaws. He understood that, like all his brothers,Klaus had a world of pain inside him - and he did his best to protect the last pieces of his heart, even if he had to hurt a couple of people in the process.

"We both fucked up, Klaus. We should've been better for each other but instead we just hurt each other more and more. We can't change the past anymore, I wish we could but it's is what it is and...Fuck, I just wish things were different." Ben suddenly reached out and took Klaus hand in his, making his brother turn to face him. "Let's just finish this so you can go back to our family, okay? I want you to go back home in peace."

Klaus nodded, then smiled sadly. "I love you, Benny. And I'm gonna miss you. Sorry if all those years together were miserable for you."

"I love you too, Klaus." Ben said, smiling back. "All those years together...I got a lot more than I would've if I had gone straight to the light, good _and_ bad. It's all gravy."

Klaus felt as if all the hurt between he and his brother had dissolved during the conversation, and they both felt lighter after all of it. That was the exact moment when Mr.Morningstar approached the two.

"Okay, kids, my most sincere congratulations to you guys for being smart enough to resolve quickly and not take up space in my club for a few decades. But I need to send Klaus back up, and Ben, just go out through where you came in, okay?"

Ben looked at the blond man, a plea in his eyes. "Can I at least hug him one last time?"

"Go ahead, just don't take long."

It didn't even take one second before Ben had been engulfed in Klaus arms, the sheer surprise making him take a pause before hugging his brother back. It had been so long since he had actually hugged Klaus; the familiar smell of nicotine was there, along with mint gum and rain. It was so familiar somehow, even if they didn't hug like this for years Klaus was like home. The warmth of his brothers embrace was the closest thing to comfort they all knew while living in the Hargreeves mansion, and to Ben this was almost like their childhood where they would comfort each other after individual training sessions. Klaus hugged him tight, one hand behind his head and other on his back, Klaus tears wetting his hair and Ben swore that he could feel his heart speed up at that even though they both were supposed to be dead.

"My world is so quiet without you, Benerino." Klaus whispered, sniffing. "Who's gonna remind me to put on pants when visitors come over?"

Ben laughed, hugging Klaus even closer. _Home_. "You'll manage, Klaus, you always do. That's your best quality."

"I hope you're right, I really hope you're right." Klaus sighed. "Thank you for all those years, Ben. Thank you for sticking around despite everything."

"I would do it all over again. Maybe change one thing here and there, but I would." Ben smiled sadly, stepping back a little to look at his brother's face. "It's time for you to go."

Klaus turned his head to Mr. Morningstar, to which the blond man only nodded sadly. Ben let go of him and said: 

"I love you, Klaus, remember that. And good luck."

Klaus followed almost robotically as Mr. Morningstar led him to the front door with one 'Stay off the drugs, Klaus' before pushing him out of the door into the nothingness of afterlife.

That was the last thing he heard. When he was thrown out of the bar and enveloped in complete darkness, they separated from each other, Klaus no longer felt Ben's fingers on his, even though he looked for him in the darkness. He couldn't scream, didn't know where to go and finally, after what seemed like a long time,he stopped resisting.

Then a blinding light invaded his eyes, and what appeared to be someone far away calling his name, the voices getting closer and closer:

"Klaus! Wake up! Klaus buddy, come on!"

"Is he okay?!"

"Klaus!Klaus come one!"

Klaus woke up with a jump, his eyes opening completely startled, feeling his body a mix of chills from the snow outside and the warmth of the blood from his wounds. He touched himself in panic, feeling his skin and the almost closed bullets holes under his clothes, the cold dogtags around his neck, trying to ground himself. Warm calloused hands grabbed his face, then he found himself staring into the familiar brown eyes of his brother.

"Klaus…"Diego spoke slowly. "Are you okay?We thought for a second that you were…"

_Dead._

Klaus blinked rapidly, taking a deep breath. "W-what happened?"

"You got shot." Five, who was also kneeling at his side, answered somberly. "We thought...You wouldn't wake up anymore."

_Fuck._ Klaus eyes darted around, almost as if expecting to see Ben there to help with an answer, but all there was the concerned faces of his brothers. 

"I'm sorry, Klaus, I shouldn't have dragged you guys here, it's—" Vanya, who was sitting on a pile of hay by his right side, said. She looked extremely guilty. "You got shot because of me, I should've come alone to deal with Harlan, I'm so sorry."

_You'll manage, Klaus, you always do._

"I'm fine." Klaus answered, putting his usual facade of nonchalant cheerfulness. "I'm fine guys, I'm here. Also are we done here? Did we manage to save the day?"

"Yeah, we did…"Diego frowned. "Are you sure you're okay, Klaus? Sure you didn't hit your head or lost a lot of blood or something?"

Klaus laughed nervously, getting slowly up on his feet and started brushing the hay and dirt from his clothes. "I'm fine, see? Now, can we go? I'm tired and need a bath."

Five frowned at his behavior, but agreed anyway — not without giving Klaus a glare that meant that there was no escape from a private interrogation later. Klaus sighed, putting a hand on the wound in his abdomen while Diego helped him limp his way out of the barn. He didn't even know how he would start to explain what happened while he was technically dead, but he had to figure out and on his own no less.

_My world is so quiet without you, Benerino._

It really was. But he would manage.

Klaus always did.


End file.
